


nothing is certain but taxes (not even death)

by KuroHikaTsuchi



Category: Dreaming of Sunshine - Silver Queen, Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - The Many Gardens of Shikabane-hime, Crossover, Dimension Travel, Fix-It, Gen, POV Outsider, Silver Queen's Dreaming of Sunshine Universe, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:33:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22180351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KuroHikaTsuchi/pseuds/KuroHikaTsuchi
Summary: Asuma knew one thing. He shouldn’t be alive right now.
Relationships: Sarutobi Asuma & Dai-jippan | Team 10, Sarutobi Asuma & Team 10 & Nara Shikako
Comments: 24
Kudos: 627
Collections: Dreaming of Sunshine Exchange 2019 B, Heliocentrism — a Dreaming of Sunshine recursive collection





	nothing is certain but taxes (not even death)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wafflelate](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wafflelate/gifts).
  * Inspired by [the dark fire will not avail you](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14871546) by [wafflelate](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wafflelate/pseuds/wafflelate). 



> Thanks to Charientist for betaing and Pepperdoken for helping me!

After what could have been an eternity or mere seconds, feelings returned. First, a slight tingle spreading across Asuma’s body. Then, fresh air hit his face. A scent of cooked meat lingered. He gasped, choking on air. Only then did he realize that he had stopped breathing. 

_What’s happening?_ He wasn’t sure. His memories were spotty. He had been fighting someone; that much he knew. But, who was he fighting? 

He coughed again. The air felt heavy. 

Suddenly, it all came back to him. The destruction of the Fire Temple. Chiriku. Akatsuki. The immortal Hidan and Kakuzu, the bounty hunter. His team. _Shikamaru_. 

His team was in danger! 

Asuma slowly opened his eyes, his eyelids heavy as if made of lead. There they were! Shikamaru was lying down on the ground, at the same place where he had fallen while trying to reach him. A little away from him, Izumo and Kotetsu were sprawled close together, both clutching at their throats. _That’s right, the bounty hunter was trying to suffocate them!_ He tried to stand up. He couldn’t. His wounds were miraculously healed but his body refused to listen to him. 

Right now, Kakuzu was standing in a defensive position, observing from a distance. The immortal Akatsuki member was once again outside of his blood seal. His ritual had clearly been interrupted. He was yelling and brandishing his kusarigama at a kunoichi, one who hadn’t been there mere moments ago. 

The kunoichi was a girl about his students’ age, maybe even younger. She looked familiar but he couldn’t quite place where he’d seen these features. Her dark brown hair was held away from her face in a braid. She wore a nondescript black long-sleeved jacket over a green shirt. Her black pants were taped at the ankles with white tape. She didn’t have much in terms of supplies, solely a pouch attached to her left thigh. 

She was standing tall, facing off against Hidan, with only a sword hilt as a weapon. He wanted to scream at her to run away, that it was too dangerous but the words got caught in his throat. He could only watch helplessly what would happen next. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Asuma can see his chunin teammates stand up unsteadily and make their way to Shikamaru. The other Akatsuki member had relaxed his stance but hadn’t moved away from his position. He concentrated his attention on the pair about to start their battle. 

“Jashin-sama will feast on your suffering, you bitch!” Hidan raged at the kunoichi. 

She didn’t seem particularly concerned by his threats, holding her ground. “I’ve heard scarier threats. And I’m not afraid of your god. I’ve beaten him before and I can do it again!” 

“You heathen! I’ll kill you! I’ll make you suffer until you beg for mercy before I finally put you out of your misery!” he cried out before charging at her. 

The kunoichi stood still as the Akatsuki member’s blade buried itself deep in her chest. He could hear someone cry out. Maybe it was him. _Dammit! It’s my job to take care of that villain! A stranger shouldn’t have to die just because I’m useless!_

She looked down at the blade, her expression strangely serene. Then, she lifted her head up, a smirk dancing on her lips. She brought up the sword hilt and it suddenly lit up with white light -- not unlike Kakashi’s chidori. She used her proximity to her adversary to swing it in a horizontal arc, decapitating Hidan once again. Before the man’s partner could recuperate his pieces to sew him up again, the kunoichi reached toward the still standing body with one hand and slapped it on the chest. 

An intricate pattern formed on the torso, spiralling outward until it covered the entire chest. He couldn’t make out from this distance what the seal was exactly but he could confidently say he’d never seen one like that. 

The kunoichi reached down to pick up the villain’s head before jumping away from the body. He soon understood why. The body had only just finished crumpling to the ground from its previously upright position when it began being sucked inward, straight into the seal. It was unlike any storage seal, as he could see the body literally distort as it was pulled in a spiral -- as if it was being flushed down the toilet. 

For a moment, everything stood still. 

“What the fuck did you do to my body! Give it back, you bitch! I’ll kill you!” the disembodied head cried out. Hidan was madder than ever, spitting insults and trying to bite the kunoichi. She none too gently taped his mouth shut with duct-tape she got out of nowhere before dropping the head to the ground. 

Asuma took the temporary reprieve to assess the battleground. Izumo and Kotetsu were back on their feet, with Izumo supporting Shikamaru and Kotetsu guarding them both. They were cautiously circling around to reach Asuma. The other Akatsuki member seemed to have decided to cut his losses and had vanished sometime during the fight. The only other people present were the unknown kunoichi and the head rolling on the floor. 

She took out a seal tag from her leg pouch and slapped it on her downed enemy. Asuma guessed it was a knockout tag from its effects. She then looked back at the gathered Konoha shinobi. She eyed them one-by-one, her expression unreadable. 

“Your reinforcements are a minute away,” she said before taking off in a shunshin in the direction of Suna, leaving behind the Konoha shinobi. 

* * *

As promised, reinforcements arrived within the minute. Ino rushed toward Asuma, dropping down on her knees, her palms alight with the green glow of medical jutsu. Meanwhile, the two tokubetsu jonin started checking over his teammates for injuries and Chouji had taken over holding Shikamaru from Izumo. 

“Asuma-sensei! You don’t have any injuries but your chakra is acting weird, which is probably why you can’t move right now. It seems like it’s returning back to normal though. Can you try to move now?” 

It took a lot of effort, his limbs still felt numb, but he managed to make a fist. 

“Ok, it looks like everything will be fine! It’s just going to take some time for your chakra to settle back to how it was, but I don’t expect there to be complications. You’ll still have to be checked over by Tsunade-sama to make sure though because I have never seen a condition like that before.” 

“What happened to Asuma?” Aoba asked. 

Izumo filled them in on the essentials. “Hidan created a sympathetic link between himself and Asuma by ingesting his blood before stabbing himself. An unknown kunoichi arrived on the scene right after that and disrupted the ritual,” Izumo paused, brow furrowed in concentration. “I don’t know what exactly happened next but she reached out to Asuma and they turned into a shapeless black cloud, like a very dark and solid shadow. When they became corporeal again, Asuma was still on the ground but he was completely healed.” 

Kotetsu took over from there. “The unknown kunoichi then proceeded to engage Hidan in single combat. She let him run her though to get close to him them she cut off his head and used some seal to get rid of his body. She then retreated after announcing that you guys were inbound.” 

Raidou nodded decisively. “We need to move out. As we were arriving, we briefly encountered the second Akatsuki member as he was fleeing, but he could double back with reinforcements. Aoba, collect the head. Are we all good to pull out?” 

He was met with nods all around. The able-bodied shinobi grabbed hold of the incapacitated ones. Chouji looked worriedly at Shikamaru. 

“Is something wrong Shikamaru? You haven’t said anything.” 

“It’s just… She…she looked just like her. _Like Shikako_ ,” Shikamaru choked out. 


End file.
